I’ve been thinking a lot the last couple of days about my last post and I really feel I must clarify a couple of things. Being an adult orphan (and yes, it sounds strange, but lots of people seemingly feel the same way as I’ve discovered through various google searches) creates some strange notions and feelings. The line by Sandra Bullock of “I forgot” just resonated with this sentiment so well. But upon reflection, the post may make it sound as if I am all alone, and that’s just not so.
I have a few good friends, very good ones indeed. Some are my age, some are those who were friends with my father/parents and have reached out to me, some come into one’s life quickly and disappear just as fast. I have had friends who have believed in me enough to financially invest in my new business venture. I have friends who will go out and have a drink when I just need to blow off some steam. I have a roommate who surprises me from time to time with a clean house – knowing that I am stressing about how I can possibly get everything done. I am truly grateful for the friends I do have.
But, that doesn’t change the lack of family feeling. I’ve been on my own now for almost 9 yrs – and by that I mean without parents or close, caring relatives. I’ve traveled a great deal in my life and moved around a lot on my own. And it was easy to do when I knew that I always had family back home thinking about me and providing a safety net if I needed one. Fortunately, I rarely did, but it doesn’t change the fact that at least I knew it was there. Now, I don’t have a safety net. My friends are getting married. The dynamics are changing and I don’t always know where I fit. I’m thrilled for them, really, I am. But it does place me back into a wanderlust mode – both imaginary and real.
I hear all the time how strong and independent I am. “Of course I am,” I think. I haven’t had much choice in the matter. This also proves to be a challenge when dating. I’m perfectly fine being feminine and vulnerable, but honestly, I forget how, I don’t get to do it often enough. It doesn’t help I was mostly raised by men. I have also forgotten how to be a part of something since I’ve had only myself to depend on for some time. Ot goes without saying that this is also a challenge when dating.
So, for now, I guess I’m just walking along, following a path that seems right for the time being. But my mind is wandering. And the dreams are still working their way into becoming a reality.




So, I’ve started. Day One of the Master Cleanse. My friend Jennifer, who works with me, via phone, on 
